I Feel Like I'm Fixin' To Die Rag

nobody@vox.com(Groove Neuter) — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 15:57:42 -0500

Success.

Got the Notary cornered along with two of the tellers at the bank branch to act as my witnesses for my will.

One peculiarity in the process.

To determine if I was of sound mind, the Notary asked me a few questions.

First was, "So, you just moved here last summer?"

Easy one, "Yup."

It was the follow-up to that which threw me.

"Have you found a church yet?"

Recovering, quickly, well it felt quick to me, I reply, "Sure, yeah, we've looked around and settled on (fill in name here because it's where we got my eldest daughter into affordable preschool.)

Banker/Notary: "Well, that's fine, but if you ever feel like joining a community of passionate believers, my church is up on (local road name here) and we'd love to have you join our fellowship."

Not the kind of witnessing I thought I'd get to legalize my will.

I guess church attendance qualifies as exhibiting a sound mind in these parts.

"Uh, yeah, sure, I'll talk to the wife about it." One of the joys of marriage is being able to use the spousal-conference as a reason to not do anything immediately and be non-committal.

Then while the tellers fill out all their various info to make the will official and I'm a captive audience; he goes on about all the benefits about moving all of our funds to his bank and all the other various account add-ons he can push on me.

So, first he wants to save my soul; then he wants all my cold hard cash.

I shall keep both to my own counsel.

But I'm all legal, official, and fixed up to die.

Gimme an F...

Gimme an I...

Gimme an S...

Gimme an H...

What's that spell?

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Growing up is like a video game

nobody@vox.com(Groove Neuter) — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 12:20:26 -0500

There are obstacles to overcome, skills to acquire, and bosses to trounce.

Today I feel like I've advanced one more level.

I finished my will.

One of those things that makes you feel officially grown up after you get married and have kids.

Now I just have to get it notarized.

Getting the actual notary appears to have become a mini-bonus-round.

The notary is free at my bank and it's on the way to preschool, so I figure hey, cake.

Ahh, not so. It's tricky.

There's only one notary, and he rotates branch offices, partial days.

I call ahead, to inquire when he'll be available and am told all day.

Being suspicious I want to re-confirm.

Well, they say, except for when he takes lunch.

Aha!

And when might that be? I counter. The usual around 12 to 1?

This then, would be when the teller on the phone puts on the slow, drawling, southern-belle accent.

"Sugar, why would I have any idea when that man might want to take his lunch?"

Gee thanks, glad I called ahead to get specific information before I drive over there.

Which means, that this round will be one of those where the opponent you're supposed to catch is running away from you erratically, and is just a few steps faster and more agile than your character.

I need a 1-up and a speed boost. Maybe if I start breaking some of these randomly placed box-crates or something.

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Groove Neuter’s blog

I Feel Like I'm Fixin' To Die Rag

Growing up is like a video game