1 post tagged “taco”

Did a bit of shopping with the wife and kids.

Staples for us.

Diapers, wipes, Drano, frozen pizza, tacos, block cheese, and soft baked pretzels.

Since we have the two kids, it's just easier to have two carts to wheel them around in.

At checkout, there was, as is my luck, only one lane open and it was backed up with the folks who only go shopping once a month and overflow their carts.

So, I perk up when the post adolescent scrub (with a name tag of "Billy") who had been singing "White Wedding" to himself opens up the express checkout lane and calls out that he can help me.

Sure, we had more than 10 items, but he offered, right?

Sure, I can assume that he has assumed that the wife and I are each managing our own shopping expedition and aren't together.

He thinks he's got two shoppers, each with a cart of around 10 items.

Am I an asshole for not correcting his misplaced assumptions.

I consider this for a nanosecond and push the cart into the express lane and unload.

The wife follows and does the same.

Which is about the time he gets suspicious that we might actually be together.

"Wow, sure loading up the express there aren't we?"  He passive-aggressively asks as he continues to scan items for which he is woefully ill-equipped to stack up.  See, this being the express lane of 10 items or less, they saved a few pennies by not building a full counter past the cash register to bag items.

So I smile vacantly in my not so passable spaced out Paris Hilton impersonation as he assembles the leaning tower of pizza, tacos, and Huggies.

While inside my head I'm posing the question to myself; what the hell else would he be doing?

What is it exactly that I'm keeping you from getting to?  The bridge?  The chorus?

And isn't it a more efficient to the express checkout to scan all the items and deal with one total and payment instead of two transactions, as was his assumption that the wife's cart and mine were not a unit? 
So, this was actually faster.  Didn't slow down the non-existent flow one bit.  I knew it was wrong.

But inside, I felt happily dirty, because I knew and he knew that I had broken the express checkout law.

It's a nice day to start again.