2 posts tagged “smack”

The wife had Intralase Lasik last Friday.
I was freaked out.  Turned out fine.

Youngest daughter winged a ball at wife's face the next day.
I freaked out.  Missed the eyes, turned out fine.  She can read the 20/20 eye chart line.

Eldest daughter fell out of bed Monday night.
Gashed the back of her head on the bottom corner of a dresser.
I freaked out and got a lot of blood all over me while I held her.
After a trip to the ER at Midnight and three staples, turned out fine.

Youngest smacked eldest in the back of the head with a (hard) toy dragon.
I freaked out.  Wound didn't open, no new blood, just a headache for eldest, so, you know, fine.

Eldest wants to go to preschool today as there are only a few sessions left for this school year.
I take her and find out today they're doing an inflatable bouncy-house all day because it's storming outside.
I freaked out.  I'll find out in an hour if anything got bumped loose, but I haven't gotten an emergency call yet.

She has a follow-up doctor appointment today anyway.

Wife has a follow-up eye appointment tomorrow.

Me, I've about exhausted my freak-out for the week.

Plenty of Boulevard Brewery mixed-packs, Bacardi Solara Rum, vodka, and tequila though... so I might make it yet.

So,

is it bad karma to have splattered a fly with a borrowed library book?

It's only that I was sitting on the deck, enjoying the relative warmth of the afternoon sun after a morning thunderstorm, with another Detective John Rebus book, "Strip Jack" by Ian Rankin.

The flies were thick, having just awoken from the frozen season of Hoth here, and more voracious of appetite than the bears.

One, having annoyed me repeatedly, worrying with my hair, legs, and finally mouth, had settled on the edge of our bistro table.

It had bothered me so often that I could actually tell it apart from the others.

My nemesis.

Eldest daughter played, unawares, on the slide.

Having alighted mere inches from the hardback book I held in my right hand, its pages guarded from flipping by the wind by the glass of chardonnay in my left, I, without thinking, upon instinct, blasted the little bastard with a cudgel-like blow.

After a split-second, okay, maybe longer of satisfied glee, "me big warrior, kill annoying shithead" euphoria, I noticed the detritus the thing had left on the back cover.

Ewwww.

I think I'll use the drive-through drop-off slot for this title.