2 posts tagged “shots”
Inspired by the tornadoes sweeping around us last night, I put two shots of vodka into six shots pineapple juice and diced up a quarter of an Granny Smith apple that the daughters hadn't finished eating with their dinner.
I'm sure that any 1/4 apple would have done.
Just eat the other 3/4 yourself.
Worked beautifully to soothe the nerves, as we huddled in a closet under the stairs with our flashlights.
I propose a new named sandwich.
The "Neutered Groove"
Apologies if this list of arranged ingredients already exists under another sandwich moniker.
It's not that I will desist, mind you.
I just want to be clear that it has now been dispossessed of its ingredients and will need to find new ones should it wish to go forward as a named sandwich, or risk being de-listed from the sandwich board exchange.
A "Neutered Groove" consists of:
Two slices of bread, any bread, I usually go wholewheat.
Onions slices and tomato slices, one or two of each.
A spring mix of various salad leafy greens and reds.
Two slices of pepper jack cheese, otherwise known as Monterey Jack with Jalapeno bits incorporated.
Seven deli-thin slices of hickory smoked ham.
Two slices of hard salami.
Point zero eight ounce, approximately, crushed ripe black olives.
One squirt ketchup.
One squirt mustard.
One shot glass.
One bottle of tequila.
One bottle of vodka.
4 albums of music:
A) Gas Huffer - "One Inch Masters"
B) Claw Hammer - "Thank The Holder Uppers"
C) Mercury Rev - "Boces"
D) Col. Bruce Hampton & The Aquarium Rescue Unit - "Self-titled"
Assembly instructions required to qualify as an official "Neutered Groove":
Begin playing the music in the order listed from albums A - D.
Do not shuffle.
Play straight through.
Drizzle the bread with Jose Quervo Black Medallion Tequila.
Butter one side liberally and place in a pan on medium heat (butter-side down.)
Place the one of the two cheese slices on top of the bread.
Simmer the onion/tomato slices in vodka until soft.
Add one of the two slices of hard salami on top of the cheese and bread.
Add all seven deli slices of ham on top of the salami, cheese, and bread.
Add squirt of mustard on ham, salami, cheese, and bread.
Add the leafy greens on top of the mustard, ham, salami, cheese, and bread.
Add the onions/tomato on top of the leafy greeens, mustard, ham, salami, cheese, and bread.
Add the second slice of hard salami on top of the onion/tomato, leafy greens, mustard, ham, other salami, cheese and bread.
Add squirt of ketchup on second slice of hard salami, onion/tomato, leafy greens, mustard, ham, other salami, cheese, and bread.
Add the second slice of cheese on top of the ketchup, second salami, onion/tomato, leafy greens, mustard, ham, other salami, other cheese, and bread.
Add the crushed olives on the second cheese slice, ketchup, second salami, onion/tomato, leafy greens, mustard, ham, other salami, other cheese, and bread.
Add second slice of tequila drizzled bread on second slice of cheese, ketchup, second salami, onion/tomato slices, leafy greens, mustard, ham, other salami, other cheese slice, and bread.
Compress the stack with a large spatula flipper, butter the top slice of bread, and flip the arrangement, ass over tea kettle.
Now, and this bit is truely make or break, do exactly three shots of vodka, and three shots of tequila.
By the time you're done, the bottom side of the sandwich will be golden buttery brown and you'll be in a state fully capable of appreciating this culinary delinquent.
Now, sit in a comfy chair, turn down the lights, eat the sandwich, and let what remains of the play list finish out.
Your groove will be neutered.
