Beef N' Bird

nobody@vox.com(Groove Neuter) — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 15:58:47 -0500

For years the wife and I have been making a McDonald's mutation sandwich which we dubbed the Beef N' Bird.

Equal parts double-cheeseburger and McChicken.
Discard one set of buns (i.e. let the kids eat them when they swoop in to take a break from the playground.)
Combine the meats, sauces, and assorted veggies (term used loosely)
between remaining set of buns and there you have it.
The Beef N' Bird.

I was inspired by this when preparing dinner last night and classed-up (ever so slightly) the original concept.

Gourmet Beef N' Bird:

Pan-fry a large medallion of beef sausage until crisply browned then cut in halves and cook two chicken tenderloins pan-fried in the beef sausage drippings.

One large leaf of Romain lettuce placed on a plate, with a thin layer of sun-dried tomato pesto spread over it, then sprinkled with grated Romano cheese.

When the meats have cooled slightly (so not to wilt the lettuce) alternately place sausage halves and tenderloins on top of the Romain leaf.

Drizzle spicy wing sauce or BBQ lightly over the meats and serve.

BeefNbird2

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nobody@vox.com(Groove Neuter) — Mon, 02 Oct 2006 14:57:09 -0500

I will endeavor to begin sharing my yum-yum discoveries with you.

Today we will review an appetizer, or cocktail finger-food.

This is going to be easy.

What you will need to do this:

Toothpicks.
Round, flat, or square won't matter. I used flat, because that's what I found in a drawer.

Turkey bacon or any precooked deli sliced meat of your choice.
I mention turkey bacon by name, because it's what I used. I wouldn't recommend traditional pork bacon. First off, it's raw out of the package, whereas turkey bacon or deli ham is not. Hey now, you say, wait a second, what If'n I cook it up m'self there buddy, what do you think of that, huh? I would then say back to you, that attempting to roll crisply cooked fried bacon is infinitely more fun than pushing a length of cooked spaghetti up a cat's nose, and your welcome to try it anytime, but neither one of those things is going to be as productive as just following my directions.

Sour cream.
You won't need much for this, but I'll include how to use up what's left before it has a chance to turn.

Green onions.
Okay, so, they're always optional, but I used them when I created this, so I'm calling them out.

Cooked white meat chicken portion, seperated.
I didn't include this ingredient, but kind of wished later that I had, so I'm openly repenting here.
Breast or tenderloin won't matter, and you won't need much or maybe you will, depending on how many of these you want to prepare. This is not a comment on how much you consume. Unlike my experience at the McDonald's drive through. All I said was that I wanted 5 double cheeseburgers. Hey, the wife and kids were with me. 2 for me, 2 for her, and one for the eldest daughter. The youngest is still on rice cereal and formula. Not that I'm self-consciously explaining myself to you. What if I did want all 5 to myself? What business is it of yours?
So anyway, they say, "FIVE?" like it's the most unbelievable request they've ever heard.
Yes, five double cheeseburgers!
Damn.
I mean, how do they know I wasn't on a food run for people at the office?
Or that there might be OTHER people in the car with me.
Seriously, 5 double cheeseburgers simply cannot be the largest order they've ever seen.
Reasons supporting my assumption: I'm in the midwest. People here are LARGE.

Anyway.

Cheese.
Any kind you desire. I used mozzarella, for no particular reason than I had a package that was already open.

Directions.

Lay out a piece of meat. Spread a layer of sour cream on top. Sprinkle on green onions, chicken, and cheese.
Roll the meat up and pierce diagonally with a toothpick to hold shape. If using a thin strip, like turkey bacon, roll on a diagonal to produce a thin cigar shape, instead of a thick sticky bun shape. Repeat as many times as desired.
Microwave for one minute or bake in an oven pan at 350 for 10 minutes. Let cool, remove toothpicks, and enjoy.

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Beef N' Bird

Lay, Spread, roll, poke, apply heat