Groove Neuter’s blog

To Stick Between Your Buns

nobody@vox.com(Groove Neuter) — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 13:11:42 -0500

Diced green chilis, sliced black olives, minced garlic, and sharp cheddar cheese packed inside the burger patty.

I've heard it called an Inside-Out Burger.

To assemble, divide each portion of hamburger into a larger piece (5/8) and smaller piece (3/8).
Form the large piece into a bowl shape with a lip around the edge.
Fill with anything you find yummy on a burger, then seal the lid of the package with the smaller burger portion.
Place on hot grill until desired color. I went about 10 minutes on thick side and 5 minutes on thinner lid side.
Remove from heat and let rest for 3-4 minutes.
Slide it between a bun and enjoy.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

How to rub a breast and please your wife

nobody@vox.com(Groove Neuter) — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 10:38:47 -0500

To make the rub, combine Fryin' Magic powder (or Shake'n'Bake), sugar, black pepper, garlic powder, Italian spices, and a pinch of cayenne in a bowl.

Light charcoal in grill and when covered in white ash, move coals to front half of grill.

Dredge chicken breasts in the mix on both sides, rubbing additional powder gently on.

Place chicken breasts on back half of charcoal grill for indirect heat (and warming rack if you have two levels), close lid, and partially close all dampers to moderate temp and trap smoke.

After 10 minutes-ish, rotate grill positions and flip the chicken breast, applying sauce of choice with a brush.

I used 1/2 Asian Garlic Chili sauce with 1/2 Texas Pete Buffalo Wing sauce.

After 5 minutes, flip chicken breasts and place them directly over the hot coals with the lid off/open, brushing again with sauce.

After one minute, flip chicken breast and rotate grill positions still over the coals with lid off/open.

After one minute, remove from grill and let rest for three minutes before eating.

BBQchickenbreast

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Find me down by the smoke

nobody@vox.com(Groove Neuter) — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 16:07:13 -0500

Dry rub spices,
five pounds of pork spare ribs,
then two and a half hours of indirect heat from charcoal, damped down to keep it smoky and not too hot,
finished by a few minutes on each side directly over the coals with brushed on sauce.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Near Risotto and the artisan olive loaf

nobody@vox.com(Groove Neuter) — Tue, 20 May 2008 11:55:48 -0500

I like wandering through the grocer and being inspired by...

what's on sale.

Particularly the "going bad" clearance sales, if it's something I can fix for dinner that night.

Yesterday my browsing was rewarded with 8oz of fresh mushrooms for $1 (down from $2), two Moroccan artisan olive loafs $1.50 each (down from $4.50), grated Romano cheese 5oz. $2.19 (down from $5) and a pound of fresh strawberries for $1.50 (down from $4).

I already had rice at home and a pan full of sausage grease from the morning, so I used some garlic, onion, spices, the mushrooms and Romano to turn that into a Risotto after lots of stirring and adding just enough liquid to keep the rice barely covered (minus the white wine that the Wife doesn't care for.)

Carved the olive loaf tops in a "v" trench, removed the top, added cooked chicken breast slices, and filled the trench with my sort-of Risotto, and baked them to crisp for a few minutes before serving.

The strawberries for dessert were cut and soaked in the tiniest bit of Balsamic Vinegar and sugar.

Risotto1

ChickenNestOliveLoaf

StuffedOliveLoaf1

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Beef N' Bird

nobody@vox.com(Groove Neuter) — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 15:58:47 -0500

For years the wife and I have been making a McDonald's mutation sandwich which we dubbed the Beef N' Bird.

Equal parts double-cheeseburger and McChicken.
Discard one set of buns (i.e. let the kids eat them when they swoop in to take a break from the playground.)
Combine the meats, sauces, and assorted veggies (term used loosely)
between remaining set of buns and there you have it.
The Beef N' Bird.

I was inspired by this when preparing dinner last night and classed-up (ever so slightly) the original concept.

Gourmet Beef N' Bird:

Pan-fry a large medallion of beef sausage until crisply browned then cut in halves and cook two chicken tenderloins pan-fried in the beef sausage drippings.

One large leaf of Romain lettuce placed on a plate, with a thin layer of sun-dried tomato pesto spread over it, then sprinkled with grated Romano cheese.

When the meats have cooled slightly (so not to wilt the lettuce) alternately place sausage halves and tenderloins on top of the Romain leaf.

Drizzle spicy wing sauce or BBQ lightly over the meats and serve.

BeefNbird2

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Fire Fish - Tilapia gets a Groove

nobody@vox.com(Groove Neuter) — Mon, 10 Dec 2007 14:38:29 -0600

Last night I got down with Tilapia fillets.

The wife was headed out of town for a few days, so I wanted a good send-off dinner.

First step, thaw frozen Tilapia (purchased in a bulk bag but in individual packets.)

Preheat oven to 425 F.

Dredge fillets in a mix of seasoned bread crumbs (I used crushed bits of unused Thanksgiving stuffing mix), and grated Parmesan cheese until well coated.

Sprinkle dried cayenne powder, black pepper, rosemary, and Italian seasonings on top of each.

Bake for twelve minutes on a buttered, foil-lined cookie sheet.

Remove and drizzle lime juice on fillets before serving.

The coating, aside from adding flavor, will protect the fillets from scorching or drying out, keeping them moist and steamy.

I leaned just a tad heavy on the cayenne, hence the moniker, "Fire Fish" for this dish.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Hobo's Last Meal

nobody@vox.com(Groove Neuter) — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 11:13:18 -0500

Hobo's Last Meal

Ain't nothin new 'bout gettin old.
ain't nothin new 'bout gettin by

Gettin by with nothin
Nothin new 'bout that way

Church had it wrong and the minister was confused
Devil don't take nothing, but he gives you the blues.

Had us a chicken and fire down south a way
Well, I had a good eatin' roaster,
Perhaps I forgot to pay.

I took me a walk
Yeah, I whistled all the way.

Thank you mister chicken farmer
For your generosity.

See, I took your chicken back there
But I gave you your philanthropy.

Ain't nothin new 'bout gettin old.
ain't nothin new 'bout gettin by

Gettin by with nothin
Nothin new 'bout that way

Church had it wrong and the minister was confused
Devil don't take nothing, but he gives you the blues.

The man say the gift of giving is a high
I done give that gift to you so I can get by.

You just made a donation, offering or tithe.
I just made another way to get by.

You'll feel better knowing you helped.
I'll sleep better, fed in this here shed.

Now you can feel good.
And I will lay back down to my bed.

Ain't nothin new 'bout gettin old.
ain't nothin new 'bout gettin by

Gettin by with nothin
Nothin new 'bout that way

Church had it wrong and the minister was confused
Devil don't take nothing, but he gives you the blues.

Now just put away that buckshot barrel
I'll walk away and we don't have to quarrel

Don't turn my gift back on me
See, I given you your generosity.

Don't slip that noose around my neck
I ain't gonna swing for just one roaster.

Ain't nothin new 'bout gettin old.
ain't nothin new 'bout gettin by

Gettin by with nothin
Nothin new 'bout that way

Church had it wrong and the minister was confused
Devil don't take nothing, but he gives you the blues.

Just let me be, and you can feel good
And I can lay back down to my bed

See, I had a good eatin' roaster,
Perhaps I forgot to pay.

Don't turn my gift back on me
See, I given you your generosity.

Now just put away that buckshot barrel
I'll walk away and we don't have to quarrel.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Named Sandwich Nomination

nobody@vox.com(Groove Neuter) — Wed, 25 Apr 2007 17:24:47 -0500

I propose a new named sandwich.

The "Neutered Groove"

Apologies if this list of arranged ingredients already exists under another sandwich moniker.

It's not that I will desist, mind you.

I just want to be clear that it has now been dispossessed of its ingredients and will need to find new ones should it wish to go forward as a named sandwich, or risk being de-listed from the sandwich board exchange.

A "Neutered Groove" consists of:

Two slices of bread, any bread, I usually go wholewheat.

Onions slices and tomato slices, one or two of each.

A spring mix of various salad leafy greens and reds.

Two slices of pepper jack cheese, otherwise known as Monterey Jack with Jalapeno bits incorporated.

Seven deli-thin slices of hickory smoked ham.

Two slices of hard salami.

Point zero eight ounce, approximately, crushed ripe black olives.

One squirt ketchup.

One squirt mustard.

One shot glass.

One bottle of tequila.

One bottle of vodka.

4 albums of music:
A) Gas Huffer - "One Inch Masters"
B) Claw Hammer - "Thank The Holder Uppers"
C) Mercury Rev - "Boces"
D) Col. Bruce Hampton & The Aquarium Rescue Unit - "Self-titled"

Assembly instructions required to qualify as an official "Neutered Groove":

Begin playing the music in the order listed from albums A - D.

Do not shuffle.

Play straight through.

Drizzle the bread with Jose Quervo Black Medallion Tequila.
Butter one side liberally and place in a pan on medium heat (butter-side down.)

Place the one of the two cheese slices on top of the bread.

Simmer the onion/tomato slices in vodka until soft.

Add one of the two slices of hard salami on top of the cheese and bread.

Add all seven deli slices of ham on top of the salami, cheese, and bread.

Add squirt of mustard on ham, salami, cheese, and bread.

Add the leafy greens on top of the mustard, ham, salami, cheese, and bread.

Add the onions/tomato on top of the leafy greeens, mustard, ham, salami, cheese, and bread.

Add the second slice of hard salami on top of the onion/tomato, leafy greens, mustard, ham, other salami, cheese and bread.

Add squirt of ketchup on second slice of hard salami, onion/tomato, leafy greens, mustard, ham, other salami, cheese, and bread.

Add the second slice of cheese on top of the ketchup, second salami, onion/tomato, leafy greens, mustard, ham, other salami, other cheese, and bread.

Add the crushed olives on the second cheese slice, ketchup, second salami, onion/tomato, leafy greens, mustard, ham, other salami, other cheese, and bread.

Add second slice of tequila drizzled bread on second slice of cheese, ketchup, second salami, onion/tomato slices, leafy greens, mustard, ham, other salami, other cheese slice, and bread.

Compress the stack with a large spatula flipper, butter the top slice of bread, and flip the arrangement, ass over tea kettle.

Now, and this bit is truely make or break, do exactly three shots of vodka, and three shots of tequila.

By the time you're done, the bottom side of the sandwich will be golden buttery brown and you'll be in a state fully capable of appreciating this culinary delinquent.

Now, sit in a comfy chair, turn down the lights, eat the sandwich, and let what remains of the play list finish out.

Your groove will be neutered.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Swirl-caught

nobody@vox.com(Groove Neuter) — Tue, 13 Mar 2007 15:40:23 -0500

The Vortex strikes again.

A foster-adopted-step cousin of mine is separating from her husband and moving back there.

Oh, the foster-adopted-step-cousin thing?

Yeah, I have a nightmarish M.C. Escher family tree.

Anyway, another one pulled back.

She'd been out of the place we shall not mention for better than 14 years.

I'm telling you, and myself, you have to watch these things; forever.

And they'd just adopted a two year old girl from China, as in 4 months ago.

Will China even let you keep an adopted child if you get separated/divorced?

Similarly, what were they thinking adopting a child if things were choppy?

Or was it the added stress of the kid thing that widened/exploited an existing crack?

Ain't nothing in this world for sure.

Excepting for how good hot dogs taste when slightly burned/blacked around the outer skin/casing.

Today was warm enough to open up the windows for ventilation and cook like a caveman all flame and noir style; i.e. blackened.

Smoke detector be damned, mmmwa-hahahaha.

Fire, meat (assorted beef pieces in a tube-shape), good.

I even read a book on the deck wearing only shorts and got the first official minor sunburn of the season.

Sweet.

On the first sunny day over 60 degrees F this year.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Allium in the Family

nobody@vox.com(Groove Neuter) — Mon, 12 Mar 2007 20:57:52 -0500

Onions and garlic make nice at the family reunion, held in my cast iron pan.

It made my afternoon.

Take one softball sized red onion, and give it a rough chop.

Rough referring to the size and shape of the pieces rendered, not the amount of violence or lack of focus used during the slicing procedure.

That'll just get you a trip to the corner drugstore for more band-aids.

Scoop the onion bits into the pan.

Throw in a spoonful of fresh minced garlic.

Mine being freshly minced from a jar mind you.

Drizzle with extra virgin olive oil (why extra virgin? because you're going to eat it, and you want the taste) and cook over medium heat for a few minutes until the onions are soft and the garlic is opaque, well, more opaque than it started off, just don't burn the garlic, that's no good to anyone.

Then dump onto a plate or bowl of your choosing and savour.

Oh sure, you could make this a bed for a meat dish, but I find it refreshing all on its own.

Essentially it's batterless onion rings, er, bits anyway, but with extra good stuff and none of the bad stuff.

You don't even have to feel guilty.

Unless you're Catholic and you really, really want to anyway.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend